Let’s Hear it for Avoiding the Drama, Mama

With a touch of the remote control, you can find it any time of day: Women living up to the ugliest stereotypes of our gender. It may be a subtle case of backstabbing and undermining on one station, but with a change of the channel, you might see the flip of a table. While most of us have never watched Andy Cohen waltz into a scene of our lives, we can all relate on some level. When it comes to female drama, life often imitates art.

Here’s my question: Why?

I don’t consider myself a feminist in the traditional sense, but I will say I agree with Beyonce’s sentiment that “girls run the world.” We are intuitive, nurturing, multi-taskers who birth children and businesses. When we come together in a healthy way, we have the potential to lead and impact our communities better than anyone. When we love well, we change people’s lives. At our best, we are magic.

But {yes, there is a but…}, so often, we don’t operate within those strengths.

I recently had a conversation with a dear friend about this very topic. As a member of an all-female team at work, she lamented at how often she felt challenged by the dynamic in her office. She is surrounded by strong women, fierce opinions, and… consequently, conflict. But, I love her take on it. “I’ve come to a realization,” she said. “I value something in every one of those women, and that’s the lens from which I’m going to look at everything from now on.”

Ladies, she’s on to something.

What if we looked at the women around us, and instead of feeling jealous, threatened, or annoyed, we simply saw potential? Remember what I said earlier. When women are at their best – and join forces – they are unstoppable. What would happen if we sat around the boardroom and focused on what the other women at the table had to offer? How about setting aside differences on our PTO boards and working toward a common goal? That neighbor down the street? You may never be best friends, but she loves her kids desperately, and so do you. What can you do with that?

I’m not pretending this is easy. But, please just play along for a second.

We are beyond fortunate to live in the age of “female empowerment,” but so often we are not living up to our end of the bargain. I’ve been a part of teams that could have accomplished jaw-dropping things if we’d simply striven to see the best in each other. If we could just compound the strengths we have as women – our intelligence, our heart, our grit – and work together instead of tearing each other part, it would change the game. And, we could look our daughters in the face and speak from experience about the true beauty of girl power.

Listen, you don’t have to be life-long friends with every woman in your office or in the carpool line. You don’t have to agree with them. You may hate their approach. But, here’s a news flash: you can’t change them anyway. What you can control, however, is you. The way you choose to interact with, encourage, and lift up those around you is totally in your power and will have a significant impact on your end goal.

So, what do you say? If things aren’t feeling good in an environment you currently work in, can you reset? Can you go into work, or your kid’s school, or the neighborhood HOA meeting with a renewed perspective on your situation?

Friends, don’t ever underestimate the impact of positivity. And, above all, don’t discount the light that radiates from our amazing gender when we live up to the very best of our potential.