In these crazy times of staying home it is easy to feel unsettled, like we should be doing more since we have the time or doing less to be more present in the moment. Depending on who you follow on social media, there may also be a feeling of guilt associated with not striving to accomplish some great goal or on the other side feeling guilty for not reading 20 books and making Pinterest worthy crafts with your kids all day. Why don’t we take a look at where you might be sitting and check in with ourselves about how to best get through these days in our homes.
Surviving: remaining alive, continuing to exist.
If you’re in the surviving stage of this pandemic, you’re not alone! The days at home seem like they’re 240 hours long with everyone needing you to take care of their needs- physical and emotional. Three meals plus snacks plus school or entertainment. Let’s not even mention the dishes, messes and laundry. The only break in sight being nap time (if they still do that) or bedtime. It’s OK to be here. It’s OK to just be surviving. You will get through this.
But, you’ve taken a moment to read this during your hectic day so lets see if you can take a step toward thriving today- pick one thing, just ONE that would help you feel more calm and like yourself. Maybe its a walk, maybe its reading a chapter of an adult book, maybe its watching a TV show that makes you feel better (not one that makes you yearn for something more or different or gets you in a comparison mindset), maybe its cooking what YOU want for dinner, maybe its getting a shower and an extra hour of sleep. The dishes will wait, no one will see your wrinkled laundry, the kids will just make more crumbs tomorrow. Put something off to do something for yourself, mama.
Striving: making great efforts to achieve or obtain something.
Have you made an amazing goal chart with corresponding daily task list to accomplish those goals? Wow, you’re motivated. A lot of us look up to you, but also, a lot of us feel like we cant’t keep up. You’re a go-getter who loves getting ish done and being looked up to. But maybe you’re feeling (or hearing) the call to be more present and enjoy the extra moments you have at home and not let this extra, unforeseen, time with your family pass you by.
How can you find a balance between feeling fulfilled and working toward your goal but also being present for the people who love and want your attention? How about including your family in helping you reach your goal? Is there a task that you can include your child in (and not one that will end up frustrating both of you)? Or can you move one of your tasks to a time when you know your child doesn’t need your attention? Or maybe you just need permission to stop your striving altogether? If that’s you, please, don’t feel pressured into doing more during this time. Let go of the notion that you have to come out of quarantine having accomplished something. It’s OK to just be.
Thriving: grow or develop well or vigorously, to prosper or flourish.
After going through the initial shock and ups and downs of the first weeks of staying home, have you found a groove? Does it feel like you actually might like being home with your whole family? Sure, there are times when you’re at your wits end but for the most part you’re satisfied. Welcome to THRIVING! Maybe you’ve come up with a new routine or you’ve found out your family has a bunch of shared interested that you never had the time to explore together before.
This is what you can come out of quarantine having accomplished- having learned how your family members connect, having lifted each other up by helping, caring, comforting, and learning form one another. And that includes being also cared for and listened to, mama.
This is my hope for all of us. That we learn to thrive in our new normal and take care of each other and be cared for ourselves.
